How to Combat Materialism in Kids this Holiday Season

Imagine this scenario. 

“Mom!” a daughter screams from the living room. “Mom! Hurry, you need to come right away! Mom! Hurry, hurry!”

The mom drops the basket of wash she was carefully maneuvering through the hall, jumps over the large, sleeping dog and sprints towards her, certain there must be a broken bone or open gash in need of sutures.

“You missed it!” she yells, as the mom breathlessly enters the room.

“Missed what?”

“The commercial,” she whines. “It was the exact Littlest Petshop set that I want for Christmas! What took you so long?”

It is clearly that time of year. In addition to the stress and anxiety that comes with the busyness of the holiday season we have the materialistic bug that creeps into our lives from every angle. Every store, TV commercial, and catalog is specially designed to prey on young minds with a plethora of advertising convincing us we need an abundance of everything to have a meaningful holiday season.

Don’t get me wrong, I love buying gifts, I love Santa, and I loved seeing my kids’ little faces light up on Christmas morning when they were little. But how do we balance the materialism that consumes so much of the holiday season with teaching our kids the true meaning of giving and receiving?

It is possible to strike this balance. It takes an intentional effort to offset the materialism that can take over young minds with activities that teach them that there is more to the holidays than the nicely wrapped boxes with pretty bows.

A friend of mine had a great idea. She wanted to teach her 3-year-old about giving during the holidays. She sent an evite to all of her friends explaining that she and her son were going to be collecting food to donate to the local food drive. They asked that on Sunday morning we all put any canned or boxed food that we would like to donate on our porch, and she and her son would pick up the items and deliver them to the local food bank..

What a simple, fun, and powerful way to spend a Sunday morning! The other thing that I loved about this idea was that it provided us, as a participating family, the opportunity to have our kids participate in this giving as well, in addition to having a meaningful conversation about why they were doing this.

According to Christine Carter at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, practicing gratitude is an easy way to combat the effects of the materialism that consumes the holiday season. In general, materialistic people tend to be dissatisfied with their lives, have low self-esteem, be less integrated into their community, find less meaning in life, and be less concerned about the welfare of others. Materialistic kids don’t do as well in school, and are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, and unhappiness; they are less inclined to connect with, and to help others in their neighborhood and community. 

Ms. Carter goes on to suggest that when our kids consciously practice feeling grateful and expressing our gratitude to others, our perception of self and others changes. We don’t notice little grievances and daily hassles. Our brains simply can’t keep track of all the stimuli coming in, and our conscious focus on the positive simply doesn’t leave much room to ruminate on the negative. Gratitude changes what we see, hear, and feel-and what we don’t. And grateful children and teens tend to thrive. They get higher grades, are more satisfied with their lives, are more integrated socially (e.g., they feel like they are a significant part of their communities), and show fewer signs of depression. 

Ideas to help children (and families) focus on gratitude:

1. I hear from so many people how a simple gratitude jar has changed the way they see the world. A gratitude jar is a great way to capture the big and small things we are grateful for on a regular basis. All you need is a big jar and small pieces of paper. Include a card with these instructions:
   

   This is your new gratitude jar. Every day, each family member writes down one thing, big or small, that they are grateful for. Then, put the paper into the jar. You can fold it, crumple it, or put it in whole. That’s it! Over time, this simple practice will rewire your brain for happiness. And when times get tough, grab the jar, sit down with your family, pull out a handful or two, and read them off to each other. It will help you reconnect to what’s really important.

2. Keep gratitude journals on your night stands. Each night before going to bed write down three to five things for which you are grateful.
3. Gratitude at the dinner table. Go around the table with statements of gratitude from the day. My family has traditionally done 5 statements each. By the end, we usually spend 5-15 minutes actually talking about the things that make us grateful. This practice can be a great conversation starter.